Life Purpose

“What Brings Happiness?”

By Jessica A. Haynes

“Thanks so much for creating this fantastic website which inspires our lives!” – Linda Jean, San Rafael, CA.


These EIGHT items were listed as NOT being of major importance to maintaining lasting happiness (the Eight Illusive Paths to Happiness):

1. Wealth

2. Physical appearance

3. Age

4. Power/Influence

5. Children

6. Possessions

7. Fame

8. Higher education


These EIGHT items WERE listed as of major importance for maintaining lasting happiness (the Eight Keys to Happiness that Last and create a life with few or No Regrets):

1. A feeling of being in control of one’s life and one’s choices. Being adaptable to experiences and outcomes.

2. A relationship, partnership, and lasting commitment.

3. A satisfying and rewarding job or career.

4. Good friends.

5. Leisure.  Time to travel, retreat or relax.  Private time to be alone, and authentic time to share with others.

6. Exercise.  Exercising in any style, degree of effort, or time duration that you need or want.

7. Sense of feeling connected to God.  Having an avenue to express and experience Spirituality.

8. Hope.

First KeyA feeling of being in control of one’s life and one’s choices. Being adaptable to experiences and outcomes.

If you don’t have a feeling of personal control, choices can appear limited, and confidence can wane. Having a sense of security, inner value, and self-empowerment allows one’s spirit to soar. You make better decisions. An inner knowingness evolves that you can overcome difficulties. By focusing on ways to gain control of your time, goals, dreams and experiences, an enduring sense of happiness appears.

Second KeyA relationship, partnership, and lasting commitment.

Having a person in your life that believes in you and supports your needs is a great feeling. When you build a life with someone who understands you and loves you, the hard times are easier to take and the good times are more extraordinary. Being yourself is the best way to attract your perfect partner and what you desire to become your best self.  Even if at the moment, you don’t have a lot of money, fame, possessions, education or power, you can attract the relationship you truly desire. Be Yourself. Believe in Yourself. Listen to your inner voice of what makes you happy. Lasting and loving relationships are developed by listening and not trying to change the other person. However if, your ideas, insights, and thoughts can inspire your partner to become a better self that brings you both closer, go for it!

(Raising children may fall under this category. While every child has their own personality and personal mission, they can give much back. I have met many couples who have become closer through their children or divorced over raising their children. How can you include your children in a way that makes you happier, more fulfilled, and sometimes patient to see the life you can create together? Being a parent isn’t always easy.)

Third KeyA satisfying and rewarding job or career.

When you express what you do best, life takes on more meaning and purpose. Having a career that matches well with your inner strengths allows you to use and share your talents. You stand out and become noticed. Doing what you love can be difficult. Sometimes it can be a zig-zag path to get where you want to go. But in the process, don’t give up. It is through our actions that we define our character, sense of purpose, and wanting to give back to causes that are meaningful to us. Finding inner happiness through your job or career is a path you can pave.

Fourth KeyGood friends.

Having people in your life that compliment your personality and support your goals is a key to happiness.  Money, possessions, fame, and youth can fall away. Friends are forever.

Fifth KeyLeisure. Time to travel, retreat or relax. Private time to be alone, and authentic time to share with others.

Without time for yourself (to be yourself), life can feel overwhelming and heavy. There are so many ways to create a balance between adding fun, yet still meeting your obligations. Giving to yourself is not selfish. Adding this key to your life will bring you added pleasure and mental well being.

Sixth KeyExercise. Exercising in any style, degree or effort, or time duration that you need or want.

Your body is one of your best assets. By giving yourself the gift of exercise your body will give back to you. You will feel better, look better, and sleep better. There are so many ways to exercise that can match your needs. Even if you have some limitations, there are exercises designed for you. Exercise is a great way to connect with like-minded people, live longer, and inspire those around you.

Seventh KeySense of feeling connected to God. Having an avenue to express and experience Spirituality.

Having a spiritual connection to something greater than you… that is eternal and loving, helps to give more meaning to life and how we are all connected. There is no denying the power of prayer and how people’s lives have positively changed through the use and belief in prayer.

Eighth KeyHope.

HOPE is the ultimate tool to endure life while waiting for your unmet needs to be fulfilled or fall into place.

If a person loses HOPE — in a strained relationship, a stalled career, or negative health situation, the lack of this emotion can lead to miscommunication, a separation (or divorce), ongoing drama or crisis — or even death.  Losing hope invites lack of vision, criticism, boredom, anger, stagnation, or even letting go of one’s desire to live.

The quality of your HOPE is the quality of your perception of life… and sense of happiness.

To assure a constant stream of hope in your life, the first step is finding key people who will listen to you (i.e., your needs, wants, and desires) so that you feel heard.  When you feel heard, hope begins.  You can lose hope when there is negativity in your life.  Even when the darkest moment surrounds us, know that there is or will be a person who will listen to your pain.  By accepting the moment and the future, you are believable to those who want to help you.  Hope comes from knowing you can succeed.  Knowing you can succeed comes from one or more persons who say, “You will overcome this challenge!”  Therefore, think about with who you can trust to share your pains and problems.

Worry can come from many internal sources. Perhaps you are trying to manage some situations or problems that are not yours. If this is the case, change the situation or let it go.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Am I ready to increase my level of happiness?

Can I let go of resentment, bitterness or anger that may be holding me back?

When I visualize a dream future for myself, what do I see?

Cracking the code to happiness isn’t new. But at this pivotal point in time we are in a crucial era where there are so many ways to find happiness. Through new technology you can download self-help books, tap into the world-wide-web to find opportunities that would interest you, and seek out helpful coaching for whatever needs you have, (such as offered on my website). Also, you can follow the tried-and-true methods of contacting friends, joining groups, working with a local counselor or coach, or reaching out to family.

Final ThoughtHope and the Power of Prayer

Interestingly enough, when we connect to a higher source, and sometimes that may include a loved one who has passed over, doors often unexplainably open.  In prayer, we sense that we can reach out to “someone” who will listen to us and be heard.  In prayer, we open ourselves to taking responsibility for our past and present actions.  In that one moment of internal realization, we can be open to new ideas see answers that previously eluded us. We get the hope and information we need.  Hope always comes from knowing we have a friend, loved one, friends, or a loving “presence” who listens to our problems.  In asking for help, we are asking for renewed happiness. It may take days, weeks, months, or years to forget the pain we endured, but this expands our breadth of love to accept new personal growth.

As we gain hope, happiness fills our days again.  We start noticing how good food tastes, how beautiful the sky is, and how people take the time to help us.  When hope fills our life again, our renewed value in our self leads us to our life mission and realization of our natural talents.  The result is having control of our life, a great relationship, a rewarding job, good friends, more leisure time, desire to exercise, and a connection to God.

By paying attention to the eight keys to happiness vs. the illusive desires for happiness we can learn how to truly realize lasting joy in our lives with few or no regrets.